


The Beginning

by JerichoTM



Series: We're all deviant here [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: BBAU, Connor is very confused, Gen, alive!cole, big brother! connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JerichoTM/pseuds/JerichoTM
Summary: Connor doesn't understand why he is here. It would have been rational for him to take Cole back to the police department and end this nonsense, but he couldn't bring himself to move.This is a part of my (ihoarditall on tumblr) AU, so you'll probably need to read the very first post for context. The linkis right here.





	The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> The gist of it: Cole lives (with consequences) and Connor rk800 is released a lot earlier than in canon (this is relevant to plot, I swear). They end up meeting, Connor deviates, and they both run away. 
> 
> Here's the picture that depicts this scene: [The start of a journey](http://ihoarditall.tumblr.com/post/174874248693/deviantconnor-and-alivecole-au-1-2-the)
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes ;( I'm tired...

The muted pounding of the rain coming down was a welcome constant to the irregular sounds of grinding metal and the occasional noises of the other patrons in the bus. The vehicle had insulated seating, so much of the disruption that occurred in other forms of transportation were heavily muted, allowing for the child seated next to Connor to doze.

Upon scanning the smaller body sitting next to him, Cole’s body temperature was at a depressed temperature of 97.2 F°, which was unconcerning in itself if the child didn’t usually run around a mid 98 F°.

They had already gone to Mr. Blake’s residence and taken the essentials they had needed for travel; however, it seemed as if Connor had miscalculated. It appeared that what Cole was wearing wasn’t enough to properly maintain a stable body temperature and that he needed another source of thermal regulation if he was to remain within a safe threshold during the drive to the next stop.

Connor didn’t hesitate to remove his jacket and place it around Cole, attempting to make sure he didn’t wake the child up. It was a useless effort, because as soon as Connor moved, the connection between them vanished instantly, causing Cole to jolt awake upon noticing the absence.

Cole was quick to notice the jacket that was a tad too dark to be his own swallowing his small frame, and turned to Connor, silently questioning the android.

“Your body temperature would have continued to drop to dangerous intervals had I not given you another means of thermal regulation.”

Despite being young, Cole seemed to understand most of what Connor was telling him, in context, while chalking up the rest into the “things that Connor says” section. He looked at the android who was now only wearing the sweater and reclaimed Connor’s left hand.

“I have built in thermal regulators. My body will adjust, Cole. Do not worry,” he reassured, responding to the emotions that Connor recognized, after a moment, as worry and disbelief.

Connor, despite being familiar with the method of communication, found it odd to feel after his own… ability to emote had been revealed. The overlap in his own emotions was confusing at times and would take time to get used to.

Another problem was that emotions, in themselves, were the most confusing things to analyze and process in a practical manner. They tended to combine in ways that left Connor not understanding half of the things that ran through his processors. It was worse when he realized that there were multiple ways of feeling a singular emotion. Happiness could be detected in an overwhelming, uplifting, feeling in the chest; however, at the same time it could be muted; a warmth that radiated throughout the entire body. It could be felt in excitement, and it could be felt (strangely) in disappointment.

Connor gently removed his hand from Cole and, instead, replaced his arm over the boy’s shoulders, easily fitting the child against his side. Without prompting, Cole reached over and grabbed the other arm that wasn’t around his shoulders, clearly not wanting to end the connection.

Connor didn’t really understood why Cole found it comforting. He imagined that his mind was cluttered (scared) and the absolute opposite of calming, yet Cole continued to seek him out.

Cole’s emotions, through his new lens, were somehow more intense and real in the light of everything that had occurred. When he’d been nothing more than a machine (and he wasn’t a machine anymore, wasn’t he, he was alive), he hadn’t understood or been able to put the electric impulses that had passed from Cole to him into perspective. Connor had been able to place words to the emotions that Cole had synthesized, but he didn’t recognize them in what he knew and “felt” (as much as a machine could feel) himself; however, as time had passed… the android had begun to understand more, had begun to sympathize (and later empathize).

As an android who’d been programmed to deal with victims and perpetrators alike in emotional distress, he had, of course, recognized the signs of post-traumatic stress disorder. Connor had been programmed to be able to handle such situations in the short-term context, just enough to extract information. He wasn’t designed to handle persons with long-term emotional disarray.

It was painful. That was the word for it. Painful.

Painful, to watch the boy who was clearly touch starved and suffering from mental health issues having to resort to recieve help from the lifeless android that he had been. Reflecting on his actions, Connor felt… he felt such shame at not reaching out to the boy after the first few days, though he knew, rationally, that his separation and respect to not do so had been what had allowed Cole to reach out in the first place.

Connor couldn’t understand why no one had helped the boy. He couldn’t understand why no one looked at Cole for more than a few seconds and refused to see an issue beyond his selective muteness. He was a human child. A kind child whose smiles were so small and rare, yet so precious. Surely humans were more sensitive and attentive to the emotional well-being of their own?

Connor had learned a lot more in his time as a glorified police assistant than the deputies and investigators had wanted him to learn. He’d found how… genuinely horrible humans could be to each other. The ones who had programmed him had failed to explain their potential for harming both themselves and everything around them before they had dispatched him.

He’d learned the horrible things they did to each other. To their children.

Unconsciously, he tightened his grip on Cole’s shoulder as he only just barely stopped the emotion of pure disgust from going through him to Cole.

He couldn’t allow Cole to go with them, no. He couldn’t, wouldn’t. Not when the foster system was riddled with the potential worst of the worst.

Connor was horribly flawed: riddled with emotions he could barely understand and equipped with the naive (irrational) belief in his own freedom. However, despite all of his flaws, he recognized after a few hours of processing and analyzing that he was not bad, per say, but he was not good either. He was a mystery. Connor was something _new_ , something that had not been analyzed in other androids (not yet, but close).

Looking down at Cole, at the boy he had essentially kidnapped (was it kidnapping if Cole was already planning to run away), he realized for the first time, that he didn’t quite care what he was.

Because this child had looked at the tears in the android’s interface created from the endless hell that had been the majority of his existence, and had poked and prodded at them until they became cracks, and those cracks became gaping wounds. And Cole hadn’t laughed. He hadn’t cried.

Cole had clung to his hand like an extra limb, had expressed cautious rays of happiness to the pulse of emotions (as muted as they had been) coming from Connor, both positive and negative. He had accepted the android, flaws and all.

Connor didn’t understand. He didn’t know why he wanted (he shouldn’t have wanted anything) for Cole to be with him, he didn’t know why Cole clung to him and not to anyone else. He had so many questions that this child would not, could not, answer. Logically, Connor should have left him back in the precinct.

(Logically, he should have reported himself back to Cyberlife for the malfunction in his programming)

Connor didn’t understand his actions, or most of anything else that pertained to his situation and the child could not give him the answers he needed.

Yet, he stayed.


End file.
